When we adopt our pets, they give us hope for joy — and certainty of sorrow.
My cat Victoria gave me ten years of joy, and with her death in February, sorrow. Her absence has been a heavy presence, and I have been too sad to write about her until now, six months later.
And even now, this is difficult. I have been able to keep most of my cats alive through the age of eighteen, so Victoria’s early death was particularly painful.
As I explained in Part I of the I Survived series, I adopted Victoria and her sister Eve as feral kittens fostered by Georgetown Veterinary Hospital in Redding, Connecticut, and successfully socialized them. The hospital’s website still displays a photo of them before I adopted them; Victoria is on the left.
In Part I, I also wrote, “For those of us who love animals, our pets are not like family; they are family.” My emotions concerning the crimes I survived have always focused on the fear the cats endured and the risks they faced.
Victoria was beautiful, confident, affectionate, strong, kind, and patient; I considered her noble. A fond memory is that she liked to jump up on the furniture, land on my dresser, and enjoy the view out the window.
Cats are perfect creatures, but like all creatures, their health is subject to the perils of genetics and luck. If love could have kept Victoria alive, she would have live my lifetime. But neither love nor medicine could save her.
Victoria was dying, and we had to free her from suffering; the staff at Georgetown were, as always, compassionate toward both her and me. Victoria’s final journey was calm and painless. As the veterinarian noted, her last memory was of me, as I spoke to her and petted her until the end. I appreciate the compassion and care the staff has offered all my cats over many years.
Victoria and Eve had not shared a basket for many years. But the day before Victoria died, she curled up with Eve. She sought comfort, and Eve may have instinctively understood she was dying.
Now, Eve always curls up with me on my bed. I feel sorry for her. She and Victoria were together every day of their lives and were always close. She has always needed a lot of attention and now needs even more. She also needs me to play with her more; she and Victoria used to get exercise by chasing each other.
When we lose our pets, we seek solace. We can be glad we loved our pets and they loved us in return. Nonetheless, I have a hole in my heart.
Eve and I will always miss Victoria; we are glad we have each other.
Victoria and Eve
February 2017
Victoria is on the left.
